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"Dave."

"(_Name_)."

"Dave."

"(_Name_)."

"Strider."

"(_Last name_)."

You stare at the boy in front of you, only seeing your own reflection in his dark shades instead of his eyes.

"Entertain me," you demand as you try to keep your face as blank as his.

"Why should I?"

"Because I said so."

"So fucking uncool (_Name_)." Dave stands up and stalks out of his room, leaving you sitting on the floor as he walks away like a retarded penguin.

It only takes him a few minutes to return and when he does you find yourself being smothered by a very plush violet rump.

"UGH- Dave what was that for!"

"You said you were bored."

"Yeah well I said entertain me not smother me."

This comment earns you another face full of smuppet ass. Although this time Dave threw the plush at you before quickly absconding out the room. You snatch your two pieces of ammo up off the ground and race after him. If it's a fight he wants it's a fight he'll get.

About an hour or so later, after you lost the fight in a tragic battle for survival, you're lying on the floor as Dave tickles you mercilessly.

"D-Dave! Stop or you won't be able to stride no more," you threaten between giggles.

"Awe but (_Name_), a Strider's gotta stride." He slowly stops tickling you, just enough for you to talk normal anyway.

"When I'm finished with you, you won't be struttin' like a Strida' manly man no more."

"Are you threatening my manhood?"

"You mean your womanhood?"

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Is that a challenge I hear?"

"Yep."

"Challenge accepted."

You then proceed to have a bright red smuppet ass shoved into your face.

God your boyfriend could be such a pain sometimes.

-Repeat whole process over again.-
I don't even know. It's late and I'm trying to type quietly. Whatever, have a crappy Dave x reader thing instead.

This is a pointless fanfic. I've got a couple of other things like this I'm working on.

I don't own anything, yadda yadda. :3
Add a Comment:
 
:iconbunnygoblin:
Bunnygoblin Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2015
Thr rime she did was cool.
Reply
:iconxvelocityrapturex:
xVelocityRapturex Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2015  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
You had me at "a face full of smuppet ass"
Reply
:iconcutekitty87:
CuteKitty87 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015
Noooooo! Not the smuppet ass! XD
Reply
:iconbrokenilliad:
BrokenIlliad Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
xD
Reply
:iconferriluver101:
ferriluver101 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015
XD EXACTLY WHAT MY BF AND ME WOULD DO
Reply
:iconkira-jones:
Kira-Jones Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2015
So awesome X3
Reply
:iconkayemonkey12:
KAYEmonkey12 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Student Digital Artist
<3<3<3<3 i love this
Reply
:icondoctorwholigan:
DoctorWHOligan Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Student General Artist
DAAAVE!!!!
Reply
:iconerensmainhomie:
erensmainhomie Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014  Student Writer
Laugh LOL 
Reply
:iconrainbowspandas:
RainbowsPandas Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2014  Hobbyist
lol! my favorite parts:

"Awe but (_Name_), a Strider's gotta stride."

and

"When I'm finished with you, you won't be struttin' like a Strida' manly man no more."

"Are you threatening my manhood?"

"You mean your womanhood?"

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Is that a challenge I hear?"

"Yep."

"Challenge accepted."

You then proceed to have a bright red smuppet ass shoved into your face.

God your boyfriend could be such a pain sometimes.

-Repeat whole process over again.-
Reply
:iconfaithboo:
faithboo Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2014
My name faith i want to give thanks and i will always give thanks to Dr ogboni who brought back my love that has left me for 6years within 48hours, i have said about this last week but i promised to always tell people about this every week end so that those that did not read about it last will read about it this week, i have been looking for how to get this boy back to my life because i love this boy with the whole of my heart, i could not replace him with any body,one day i was watching my television when i saw a lady giving thanks to Dr igbalu and telling the world how he helped her i was so shocked i could not believe it because i never taught that there are powers that can bring back lost love, then that was how i decided to contact him too because i do really need my love back,when i contacted him i told him everything and he told me not to worry that my love will surely be back to my arms within 48hours at first i could not believe because i was thinking how could somebody that has gone for 6years come back within 48 hours,so then i decided to watch and see,unbelievable within the next 48hours i got a call from unknown number so i decided to pick the call the next thing i could hear was my loves voice he was pleading and begging me on the phone that i should forgive him that i should forget all that have happened that he did not know what came over him,he promised not to leave for any reason, that he was really sorry for what he did,i was so surprised because i never believed that this could happen,so that was how i accepted his apology and the next morning he came to my house and still pleading for me to forgive him i told him that everything is okay that i have forgiven him, that was how we started again and now we are married, i promised to say this testimony in radio station, commenting this testimony is still okay but before this month runs out i promise to say this in radio station and i will,sir thank you very much.World please am begging you people to try and thank this man for me,or if you need his help here is his email address:ogbonispelitemple@hotmail.com , you can still contact me through my email to know more about him.this is my email adress:ogbonispelitemple@hotmail.com.

Name:faith

Country USA
Reply
:icontawnypeltwarrior:
tawnypeltwarrior Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2015  Student Artist
Wtf
Reply
:iconnekominecrafter:
NekoMinecrafter Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
agreed...
Reply
:iconxxartninjaxx12:
XxArtNinjaxX12 Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
sounds like barney stinson! :3 BARNEY!!!!!!! HAD DAVE!!!!!! :3 :3
End it Now 
Reply
:icontennis-sarika17:
tennis-sarika17 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2014  Student Artist
Reply
:iconseika-moomoo:
Seika-Moomoo Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
NO
Reply
:icontennis-sarika17:
tennis-sarika17 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2014  Student Artist
Oh my gosh yessss hahahahaha this is great
Reply
:iconthe-fantasy-creater:
The-Fantasy-Creater Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2014
Me: EAT SMUPPET ASS DAVE!

Dave: Never!

Loved it!
Reply
:iconcardboardbeast:
cardboardbeast Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014  Hobbyist
Oh and I loved the story, btw!
Reply
:iconcardboardbeast:
cardboardbeast Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2014  Hobbyist
No Dave.
Just.
Stop.
Reply
:iconphaserw0lf:
phaserW0lf Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
This is so perfect
I don't even-
Reply
:iconrobitdragon:
robitDragon Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Student General Artist
Walks away like a retarded penguin pfffffffft Bahaha!! That made my gloomy rainy day worth staying inside looking on the internet. In other words it made me, that made my day!! Ha i had to stop reading and laugh for ten minutes and then another ten minutes to catch my breath! Thank you!!
Reply
:iconsolluxwantsme:
SolluxWantsMe Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
"This comment earns you another face full of smuppet ass"

Dat Smuppet Ass Tho
Reply
:iconticcitoby0194:
TicciToby0194 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Lol u maed mah day
Reply
:iconsolluxwantsme:
SolluxWantsMe Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice to know XP
Reply
:iconhibikicupcakes:
HibikiCupcakes Featured By Owner May 22, 2014
I found this fanfic again just now, and I looked at the comments and saw mine, and I was like "When did I write that o.O And why can't I find anymore Dave x Reader fanfics!! >3<" 
Reply
:iconhibikicupcakes:
HibikiCupcakes Featured By Owner May 16, 2014
Smothered by smuppet asses xD My boredom has been cured! :iconletmehugyouplz: Tank chu! xDD
Reply
:iconkhfrx:
Khfrx Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Smuppets XDDDD
Reply
:iconfangirlofawesomness:
FangirlOfAwesomness Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014
TG: you dont seem to harbor any sympathy for the fact that ive burrowed fuck deep into lively, fluffy muppet buttock
that is dave's quote from msparp.com. i love this story so much. its so adorable. thank you author-chan
Reply
:iconticcitoby0194:
TicciToby0194 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I remember that.........turntechGodhead is so unironic.
Reply
:iconsoulevans12:
SoulEvans12 Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
This was funny!
Reply
:iconnatalie1u:
Natalie1u Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Omg yus Retarded penguinnnn
Reply
:iconkarkitty-vantas69:
Karkitty-Vantas69 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

Me: Dave is soooo hot don't tell kk

Dave: what are you saying Mia :iconsuggestivedaveplz:

Reply
:iconigame101:
IGame101 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconhowaboutyesplz:
Reply
:iconmiyokachan:
MiyokaChan Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Student Artist
X3 parents.watching.movie.cant.laugh. X3 STUFF IT
Reply
:iconkumajiro921:
Kumajiro921 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014   Artist
I hate smuppets on so many levels.
Dave, no. ._.
Reply
:iconninjakitty234:
ninjakitty234 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Hobbyist
:iconsuggestivedaveplz:
Reply
:iconmattsmithdoctor:
MattSmithDoctor Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Pffft XD I wish I could have a boyfriend to be stupid with. :3
Reply
:iconstar4848:
star4848 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013
Omfg I love this xD
Awesome one-shot haha~
Reply
:iconita-chan4ever:
ita-chan4ever Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
:iconsmuppetplz: I BLAME THESE LITTLE MONSTERS 0 ^ 0
Reply
:iconsollux-lover001:
sollux-lover001 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2013
So cute I so many levels.
Reply
:iconsilentlove832:
SilentLove832 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
PFFFFFFFFFT-
Dave:Mika? Babe,What the fuck are you doin?
Laughing mah ass off.
Dave:Lemme see,I bet its not so fun-
-Dave reads-
-we laugh our ass off-
Reply
:iconsaiitabeau:
Saiitabeau Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
oh gog..
the smuppet asses ;A;
Reply
:iconcressida365:
Cressida365 Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconclapplz: 
Reply
:iconmomentoiya:
Momentoiya Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2013  Student Writer
I can't.... I can't even...
Reply
:iconhetaliarules99:
HetaliaRules99 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconpervydaveplz:
Reply
:iconcanismajor12:
canisMajor12 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013
NO DAVE! NO! :iconpervydaveplz: Love the fic! :iconletmehugyouplz:
Reply
:iconmidnighrtose:
Midnighrtose Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013
I'm sorry you lost me at 'face full of smuppet ass'
Reply
:iconmsphangirl4life:
MsPhangirl4LIFE Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013   General Artist
Nuu! Don't smother me in plush smuppet ass! XDDD
I'M GONNA DIE! XD
Reply
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March 1, 2013
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