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A/N: Welp. This is officially the first piece of fanfiction I have ever written. It's Karkat x Reader. Blah introductions suck sometimes. This is just introducing you and whatever. Merry late Christmas

And it sucks. Because I have no idea how to write fanfiction. It's only part 1. It's either going to get better. Or worse.

Whatever.

Just for clarity, italics are your thoughts. I guess.
(_Name_) – Your name, obviously.
(e/c) – Eye colour
(h/l) – Hair length
(h/c) - Hair colour
(f/c) - Favourite colour
(f/s) - Favourite song
(f/a) – Favourite artist

So without any more rambling from me, have a piece of Karkat attempting to be romantic.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Your name is (f/n) (l/n) and you are about to get in a massive amount of trouble.

Let me explain. It was barely passed two in the morning and you were just arriving home. It was way past your curfew; you should have been home hours ago. Before dinner even.  Your mum was going to kill you for staying out this late. If she caught you, that was. But you weren't about to let that happen. You were about to use your sick ninja skills to open the door, shut it quietly and attempt to silently sprint to your room.

And here it goes.

You inserted the key into the lock and slowly turned it. A small clicking sound came from the door, signalling that it unlocked. Before you could even retract the key the door was flung open, the door handle wrenched from your grasp. Of course, you with your in-coordination and lousy balance, fell through the doorway only to sprawl at your mother's feet. You raised your (e/c) eyes to meet hers, a sheepish grin coming onto your face.

So let's get back to the part about you being in trouble.

You sat on the chair, one leg crossed over the other in an attempt not to slump. You know your mother hates when you do that. You felt like a prisoner. Someone being interrogated about a crime they didn't commit. Okay, maybe in your case a crime you did commit, but does it really matter? Of course not.

This was becoming more uncomfortable by the second. She wasn't saying a word, just pacing back and forth in front of you. It was quite disturbing actually. You couldn't go anywhere; it was almost as if you were paralysed. You don't know what to expect from this encounter. Hell you didn't even expect this encounter. Why was your mum awake at a time like this? Aw damn she must have stayed up and waited for you to come back, seeing as you didn't arrive earlier. That was the most likely option out of all the ideas you came up with.

"(_Name_)," she spoke, startling you. You jump, whipping your head around to face her, (h/c) hair flying into your face. You grimace at the sudden blurring of your vision, reaching up to tuck the loose strands behind your ear.

"Did you need something?" You asked in return. Just play the innocent card, she won't expect that. Shit of course she'll expect that it's what I do every time! Uh, don't panic…. Just think of something new. What can I do, what can I do, what can I do…

"Oh, don't be stupid (_Name_). You know what I'm keeping you here for. It's two in the morning! What do you think you're doing coming home at a time like this?" She stops in front of you and crosses her arms disapprovingly. Oh crap oh crap oh crap.

You widen your eyes melodramatically. "…The time? What about the time? Am I late or something? Oops!" You giggle, although it comes out sounding forced. Looks like you decided to keep the innocent approach. Whoops.  I. Am. So. Fucking. Screwed. You keep repeating that over and over in your head as you listen to your mother rant about what could have happened to you and how much trouble you're going to get into because of staying out so late and a whole heap of other arguments that sound exactly like that. It was rather boring actually. You start to zone out until she snaps her fingers in front of your face. "(_Name_)! Are you even listening to me?" Busted. You blink at her before looking down at your lap. "No…" You mutter under your breath, being careful not to speak loud enough for her to hear. "Well? I'm waiting for an answer." With a sigh of frustration you raise your head. "Yes, sorry mum." She gives you a look saying that she was pleased with your answer before gesturing to the door, indicating you were free to leave.
You stand up, causing her to step backwards as to not bump into you. "Thanks mum! Love you!" You lean up and peck her on the cheek before running away, grinning wildly. First things first, talk to your friends and tell them that you were off the hook. With minor penalties of course. Thank god your mum was so understanding.

You race into your room, slamming the door behind you. You need some alone time right now. An amazing idea comes to mind as you stand in the doorway, thinking about who to talk to first. You shall initiate this perfect plan in 3… 2… 1… Houston we have lift off!
You take a running jump across the room, landing squarely on the bed with your face smooshed in the pillows. "That hurt more than expected," you groan into the covers, not bothering to move. Eventually you to run out of air. You roll over, accidentally rolling off the other side of your bed in the process. A (f/c) squiddle fell on top of you. It was a handmade birthday present from Jade, one of your closest friends. You hug the plushie close as you move into a sitting position. It was much comfier that way. You then proceed to commando crawl over to your desk. Luckily it wasn't too far away; otherwise you mightn't have bothered with crawling.

Reaching the bottom of the chair, you pull yourself up to a standing position, using the desk as support. You heave yourself into the comfy desk chair. It was so comfy, that you can't help roll around in circles a few times before stopping in fear of getting sick from all the dizziness. You place your feet on one corner of the desk, crossing your sock clad feet one of the other. Looking down at your feet you suddenly realize just how strange your outfit was.

You were wearing black ballet flats, (f/c) and black striped thigh-high socks, that you miraculously managed to secure in place somehow to prevent them from falling down, a black tutu like skirt made out of silk and tulle that seemed to stick out at random angles everywhere and a (f/c) singlet top with a light black cardigan. Your (h/l) (h/c) hair was pulled back away from your face and secured with a few bobby pins.
You giggle at your attire. Why had you chosen to wear this? Then again most of your fashion choices weren't that, well…. Fashionable.  Rose and Kanaya had been trying to take you shopping but every time you would say you were busy so that you didn't have to try on things that were all pink and girly. That's why you hung out with the guys most of the time, a few of the girls being an acceptation.

You pull your laptop onto your lap, opening it up and immediately signing into Pesterchum. Oh wow. Looks like the others had been trying to contact you. A few of them were still online now, of course. Those ones in your group that went to sleep at the weird hours of the morning. Yet they always seemed to be so full of life…

Shaking your head you stop thinking about that. You were getting side-tracked by thinking about your friends and their weird-ass sleeping habits. Talking about sleeping habits, what the hell was going on with yours? Oh, that's right. It was non-existent.
"…Side-tracked again. Nice work (_Name_)…" You mutter to yourself as you skimmed through the dozens of messages that you had received. Karkat, Gamzee, John, Rose and Nepeta had all started pestering you a few hours ago, just after 11. It was only Karkat and John on now, out of the five of them. Might as well chat to them.

[11:27] - - carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering (chumhandle) [CH] at 23:27 - -

[11:27] CG: HEY.
[11:27] CG:  (_Name_)
[11:28] CG: I BET YOU'RE NOT EVEN HERE.
[11:28] CG: WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU GONE THIS TIME?
[11:28] CG:  OUT ON ONE OF YOUR WILD GOOSE CHASES? REALLY? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR THIS TIME? OR ARE YOU JUST EXPLORING SOME UNDISCOVERED PLACE FAR OFF THAT HAS PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN DISCOVERED?
[11:31] CG: I BET THAT IT'S THE SECOND OPTION.
[11:32] CG: ANYWAY I'LL SEE IF I CAN CHAT TO YOU LATER.
[11:32] CG: GOODBYE (_Name_)!

[11:33] - - carcinoGeneticist [AC] ceased pestering (chumhandle) [CH] at 23:33 - -

[02: 26] - - (chumhandle) [CH] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 2:26

[02:26] CH: Hey Karkles.
[02:27] CG: (_Name_) WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT YOU CALLING ME THAT?
[02:27} CH: Sorry not sorry.
[02:27} CH: Hahaha!
[02:28] CG: NO THAT IS NOT FUNNY; YOU SHOULD STOP LAUGHING AT ME.
[02:30] CG: WHERE WERE YOU ANYWAY? YOU DIDN'T RESPOND TO ANY OF OUR MESSAGES. YOU DID SAY YOU WERE COMING TO THE PARTY BUT THEN YOU DIDN'T ARRIVE. IT WASN'T AS FUN AS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN WITH YOU THERE. BUT ALAS, IT WAS A STUPID PARTY FULL OF BORING NUMBSKULLS WHO WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN EVEN IF THEY TRIED.
[02:32] CH: Karkat.
[02:32] CH: Stop that.
[02:32] CH: Your friends were at that party and you just called them stupid and boring.
[02:33] CH: God you're such a nice friend aren't you?
[02:37] CG: WHY ARE YOU AWAKE AT THIS TIME OF MORNING?
[02:38] CH: I just got in. Thought it would be nice to apologise about the no show.
[02:38] CG: FINE THEN.
[02:45] CG: I JUST WANTED TO SAY… SORRY FOR CALLING OUR FRIENDS STUPID AND BORING. I DIDN'T MEAN IT. I WAS JUST UPSET THAT YOU DIDN'T TURN UP TO THE PARTY LIKE YOU SAID YOU WOULD. YOU HAD EVEN GOTTEN ALL EXCITED ABOUT THAT SKIRT THAT YOU MADE YOURSELF THAT YOU WERE GOING TO WEAR. I ACTUALLY STARTED TO LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING IT, AS SURPRISING AS THAT MAY SEEM. BUT YOU WERE EXCITED AND WE ALL KNOW HOW INFECTIOUS YOUR EXCITEMENT IS. REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO TAVROS AND NEPETA AND YOU WHEN YOU CAME UP WITH A NEW IDEA TO GET TEREZI AND I TOGETHER? AND HOW YOU WERE ALL DISAPPOINTED THAT IT DIDN'T TURN OUT THAT WELL AFTERWARDS? YEAH WELL THAT'S HOW I FEEL NOW.
[02:47] CH: What the fuck did I just read.
[02:48] CG: FORGET ABOUT IT.

[02:49] - - carcinoGeneticist [AC] ceased pestering (chumhandle) [CH] at 02:49 - -

After that little episode with Karkat you decide to get some sleep. You're head's starting hurting from trying to figure out the block of text he had sent you. Even though you still had to respond to John you doubted that he would actually be there. It was likely that he had just fallen asleep at the keyboard like he sometimes did. You laugh at the thought of him waking up with a keyboard imprint on his face.

You change your mood on Pesterchum to offline before shutting the laptop and sitting in back on your desk. You had school tomorrow and you had to be up early enough to catch the bus, otherwise you'd probably be late for school. Being, well, you, you would take twice as long as it usually would to take the walk. Although you'd be able to see Karkat again and interrogate him about his strange behaviour. It wasn't like him to be so nice and actually look forward to one of the things you've made. After all, you have a habit of coming up with really strange ideas that don't turn out just right.

You're smiling as you plug in your headphones, switch on (f/s) by (f/a) and go about your routine of getting ready for bed. You brush your teeth, put your PJ's on and eventually you're snuggled under the covers, clutching the squiddle to your chest as you slowly drifted off to sleep.

I wonder why Karkat is acting so strange…
Yeah this is the very first proper piece of fanfiction I have ever written. It probably sucks but oh well.

It's Karkat x Reader, which you can tell by the title. And it's a Highschool AU. Much easier than writing about Troll things, but I'll do that eventually.

Enjoy this crappy piece of writing. Part 1 of I have no clue how many.

Homestuck does not belong to me, neither does Karkat or any of the trolls (no matter how hard I wish)...
You belong to yourself of course.
The art up the top isn't mine either. I can't draw. Snowflakes turn into, well.... Something that really isn't a snowflake at all. So credit to whoever drew that.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconkenzie072103:
Kenzie072103 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
I love KarKat.I'm a cancer(I was born in July) so that probable is part of the reason  that and i like his personality
Reply
:iconshadowdeaththewolf:
ShadowDeathTheWolf Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2015  Student Digital Artist
XD OMG yes! I just listened to the fanmad song called Karkalicious then I stumbled upon this.Thank you for making my day!
Reply
:iconsweetgeekxd:
sweetgeekXD Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014
Is it bad that this us my fav song -
m.youtube.com/watch?list=WL&v=…
XDDDDDD
Reply
:iconicelentships:
Icelentships Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2015  Student General Artist
nope not at all .. mine was safe and soundDouble Pistols and a Wink 
Reply
:iconsweetgeekxd:
sweetgeekXD Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2015
XD perf
Reply
:iconicelentships:
Icelentships Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2015  Student General Artist
and that one 2I am a dummy! 
Reply
:iconthe2pofhungary:
the2pofhungary Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
"What the fuck did I just read." Best line ever.
Reply
:iconicelentships:
Icelentships Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2015  Student General Artist
yes it is Airborne 
Reply
:iconanimefangirlaki:
AnimefanGirlAki Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2014
:) I like it it is not crappy as far as I am concerned :3 
Reply
:icondanielle14178:
danielle14178 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Is it odd my chum handle is Juggalo Insanity? Or is that completely normal for psychos like me?
Reply
:iconicelentships:
Icelentships Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2015  Student General Artist
psycho as you say no ,normal which i'm not yes Sollux Sollux Overdrive 
Reply
:iconrednekokarin:
RedNekoKarin Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
normal but just remember there could be people or things out there that are more sick and insane then your own mind    Ampora E 
Reply
:iconicelentships:
Icelentships Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2015  Student General Artist
like me?Sollux Overdrive 
Reply
:iconlilli-says-no:
Lilli-Says-No Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2014
silently backs away
Reply
:iconrednekokarin:
RedNekoKarin Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
wwell
Reply
:iconltanner02:
ltanner02 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2014
It's ok Eri *paps*
Reply
:iconrednekokarin:
RedNekoKarin Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
*CRIES*
Reply
:iconotakufangirl5005:
otakufangirl5005 Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
the title called me here
Reply
:icondarkrelm22:
DarkRelm22 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2013  Student General Artist
did anyone else notice at thr end of the conversation with "K4RKL3S" said CarcinoGenticist(AC) ceased Pestering chumhandle (CH)? or was it just me?
Reply
:iconticci-freakin-toby:
Ticci-Freakin-Toby Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2015  New Deviant Hobbyist General Artist
It says ir at the beginnning too...
Reply
:iconicelentships:
Icelentships Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2015  Student General Artist
omfc I just now realIz3 thatSollsolx Capot sollux captororotor 
Reply
:icondemonicangelface:
DemonicAngelface Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015
Maybe nepeta was actually karkat all along 
Reply
:icondanielle14178:
danielle14178 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Nope. I rechecked and it said that e-o

Reply
:iconstealthelf:
StealthElf Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No no I see it too...WELP SEEMS LIKE MY INNITIALS HAVE STRUCK AGAIN!
Reply
:iconashwing144:
ashwing144 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I love the song that is karkalicious 
:iconhandspazzplz: 
Reply
:iconi4mah0m3stuck3r:
I4MAH0M3STUCK3R Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013
the title it called to me
Reply
:iconnjkurokitty7:
NJkurokitty7 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
K4RKL3S!
Reply
:iconshhhhh2:
shhhhh2 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2013  Student
I love everything right now
Reply
:iconsmexysatiremonkey:
Smexysatiremonkey Featured By Owner May 31, 2013  Student Writer
I love my chumhandle.
pogostickGalore....
:iconderpinaplz:
Reply
:iconangelbeats2335:
Angelbeats2335 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"makes" -can't spell :3
Reply
:iconangelbeats2335:
Angelbeats2335 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I thougt the karkalicious definition mskes terezi loco?
Reply
:icongirlbrony888:
GirlBrony888 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2013
It does. She wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in his photo.
Reply
:iconsketchxthexpony:
Sketchxthexpony Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
She's dyin' just to know the flavors, but he ain't doing her no favors.
Reply
:icongirlbrony888:
GirlBrony888 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013
No reason why he tease her, flush just comes and goes like seasons.
Reply
:iconsketchxthexpony:
Sketchxthexpony Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Karkalicious( super sweet)
So karkalicious (freaking adorabloodthirsty)
So karkalicious (even Egbert wants a piece of me)
So karkalicious 
NOW YOU NOOKSUCKERS HOLD THE FREAK UP. 
Check it out.
Reply
:iconicelentships:
Icelentships Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2015  Student General Artist
nope. just done ::::::::(((((((((((((((((((
Reply
:icongirlbrony888:
GirlBrony888 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013
Baby baby baby
If you really want me
Honey just be patient maybe then you'll get a taste
Ill be tasty tasty
Ill be laced with lacy
It's so tasty tasty
It'll make you crazy
Reply
:iconsketchxthexpony:
Sketchxthexpony Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
T. To the A to the S T E Y freaking tasty.
T to the A to the S T E Y freaking tasty,
T to the A to the S T EY freaking tasty,
T to the A to the the,
To the D to the E to the L I C I O U S
To the D to the E to the L I C I O U S
To the D to the E to the L I C I O U S
To the D to the E to the to the
Oh let me just spell it out for you.

Every time I turn around
Trolls gather 'round
Sniffing at me trying to guess the color of my blood.
I just want to say it now- I ain't trying to round up any drama little (f word-er) I just don't want you to know.
Reply
:icongirlbrony888:
GirlBrony888 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2013
And I guess I'm coming off as just a little insecure although I keep on repeating how the secrets freaking awesome but I'm tryin to tell its just a secret that I just don't wanna tell
Terezi says I smell delicious...
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconkibby99:
kibby99 Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yay
Reply
:iconartisticvchan:
ArtisticVchan Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013  Student General Artist
the title...oh god the first time i actually heard the song on youtube i couldnt stop laughing!
Reply
:icondeaththekidslover:
Deaththekidslover Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013  Student Artist
The title called for me
Reply
:icon18-36-alisterafanan:
18-36-alisterafanan Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
True nife image
Reply
:iconfurrygirl123:
furrygirl123 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013
are there more and if so how can i find them?!??
Reply
:iconsasukestoy:
SasukesToy Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013
Loved it
Reply
:iconthe-shiny-victini:
the-shiny-victini Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
More plz ;_;
Reply
:iconseer0fdoom:
seer0fdoom Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
HOLY SHIT THE TITLE
Reply
:iconmurderousmusic:
MurderousMusic Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Student General Artist
YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HOW LONG I'VE WAITED FOR SOMEONE TO USE THAT SONG IN THEIR TITLE-
Reply
:iconsunkissgem:
Sunkissgem Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013
Around the ending, there's a typo with Karkat's handle. It says AC instead of CG ^^
Reply
:iconaliceinsteampunk:
aliceinsteampunk Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
...Whoops...
Reply
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